Disturbing Dreams and Withdrawal

Of late since making the decision to come off Suboxone and get determined I've been having bizarre and quite scary dreams and I'm sure it's related to the whole idea if going receiving the Naltrexone implant.

I am having dreams of developing horrific skin diseases such as smallpox and body wide acne. Added into this mix are the recurring dreams of ripping both my skin and flesh off, caused by some type of apocalyptic leprosy! I wake up glad to be alive and feel assured that one day soon, hopefully in the next few months, will be on the implant and opioid free besides Naltrexone, but that doesn't count due to it's entirely antagonistic properties.

I believe the dreams could metaphorically be me 'shedding my skin' or something akin to this. More disturbing dreams are on the way for sure as there always is without fail when I am in withdrawal from whatever substance and actually sleeping...I both anticipate and dread some dreams. Whilst I am sleeping 8-9 hours per night currently, I know soon with my continuing Bupe reduction that this luxurious amount of sleep will soon come to an end and I will have an extra 8 hours stapled onto my day whilst feeling shithouse at the same time!!!

I laugh now but at the time I will be both cursing God and pleading with Him for the agony of withdrawal to miraculously disappear...it never went away and I yelled and I screamed during my roller coaster opiate addiction days, different to my now dependence on Suboxone. Whilst I haven't felt heavy withdrawal for the entire period of time I've been on Suboxone, if I miss one day or are 4 hours late on taking my dose I feel very sick and lethargic and sometimes even vomit and have watery eyes and excessive nonstop yawns and upon placing that magic pill under the tongue, the nastiness eases and I can be my out of touch with reality self once more. Happy little me!

Without Suboxone I feel disgusting and pitiful, like some type of animal. I have this to look forward to on what will be a grander scale than I've ever felt before. Yet I desire to feel and conquer the withdrawal pains and win against this nightmare once and for all.

Love and Light