Shattered.

Shattered.

It seems all my elaborate planning for a February 21st implanting has been put on hold. For ethical reasons, a certain physician cannot treat me until I am sufficiently withdrawn from Suboxone for 14 days prior, as per the Australian standard. Bollox I say...

So what does this mean for me?

I have to consider my other options, and the only real medically approved way of coming off Suboxone is to taper slowly and detoxify in eleven or so months, minimum. Damn, shit and fuck.

All that insomnia I went thru while trying to speed up my withdrawal was basically for nothing.

NOTHING!!!

My prescribing doctor won't allow me to taper any faster than one mg per month as he believes I'll relapse into drug abuse if I taper too quickly or withdraw. So all in all this pharmacotherapeutic prison sentence called buprenorphine maintenance has just been extended considerably, and thus I weep.

In some ways I am relieved I won't have to go thru the agony of Naltrexone precipitated withdrawal. But in many more ways I am furious. This was my huge plan, something that was to empower me, the hardest thing I will have ever had to endured.

My inner addict is celebrating this blow to my plan as it now thinks it has won.

I say to it: See you for the next battle soon.

This is not over, not by a long shot. Upon reflection I have decided to change this blogs direction and use it as my all personal blog, although still concentrating on life as a Suboxone addict. I expect to have this blog still well and truly going when I finally am detoxified from Suboxone and can get a Naltrexone Implant.