How fucking awful and yet amazing life is!
First, my plans go down the shitter in regards to the Implant and the whole Naltrexone detoxing on 21st so I write a blog post about it to have a bitch, then shortly afterwards I receive a full time job offer by phone, to start Monday 23rd!
If I had've still been able to get the Implant this weekend, I wouldn't have possibly been able to take this job as I'd have been too dope sick and weak to work.
So it would seem that yet again...
...has changed the direction of my life with another swift dose of mind fuck along the way.
My mother is pseudo pissed off that I am not using the airfare to Perth, well I gave her the money back for it so I don't know why.
I reckon she thinks I've changed my mind about Naltrexone...no mother, I still intend to be clean of Buprenorphine by the years end if my current doctor will let me.
I'm still in the process of finding a doctor I can trust. It may take me forever.
A doctor that won't say...
That would be too much to bear...no more fucking pills.
Only God really knows how much I actually love and crave pills, how much I dream about them.
I haven't had such pleasure for years and yesterday I seen a pharmacist holding three packets of 40mg tabs and I instantly got massive cravings for the Oxy, I mean, MASSIVE!
Luckily another pharmacist came and handed me my Suboxone dose in a plastic cup which immediately occupied my mind, and I hightailed it out of there!
Only a junkies' heart would pound and his mouth almost begin drooling when laying his eyes on hardcore pharmaceuticals such as OxyContin tablets!
Thoughts racing, voices telling him to do terrible things to acquire said pills.
Like mine did.
Thoughts that even under extreme desperation I would never carry through as robbing pharmacies is not my scene unfortunately. I found a little document that sums up why:
I don't agree that telling the police everything is good but the rest, hmmmm, I can live with!
All thanks to Kelly for her magnificent and touching rhyme on the importance of not stealing!
This is what Pa had to say about it, he's a grifter from way back...
So to finish off this post without you falling asleep!