Friday, February 20, 2009

Insanity Smiles

Insanity Smiles?

What the fuck are they, you might ask?

Well it is 7:30am on the morning I'm supposed to be getting the implant, and once again I'm sitting here in icky withdrawal for nothing.

I also have another major case of the insanity smiles...let me explain how an insanity smile works in me and when/why I get them!

Example of an 'Insanity Smile'!



OK when it hits 28-30 hours after my last Suboxone dose, I begin feeling very fatigued, uneasy and wary of everything.

By this time my drug craving mind, in early dope sickness, begins to panic as my buprenorphine levels dwindle and my flight or fight reaction begins revving up.

Thus my endogenous norepinephrine levels begin to rise and add substantially to the inner nervous tension; which when combined with an anxious and beginning to be delirious mind, cause the famous insanity smiles!



Recently when going thru this terrible affliction I saw an old man fall over in front of me. Now ordinarily I'd go up and help him...not when I've got the insanity smiles however!

I felt like a royal bastard and like I was literally fucking insane laughing at this poor old man in his fallen misery. I continued to have the giggles from then on until I had my Suboxone dose 2 hours later, whereupon the smiles immediately disappear as the slightly euphoric glow kicks in!

I'd better be careful lest this affliction have deleterious effects on my relationships!



Such is the indiscriminate effect of the insanity smiles!

A serious affliction of sorts...


2 comments:

  1. Oh, hell. Withdrawal from opiates!!! I feel your pain my friend. I feel your pain.

    I detoxed in a rehab on Sub and it was an ass kicking experience. I can only imagine how bad it is for you to deal with.

    Keep the faith and just fucking hang on.

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  2. hahah I TOTALLY get the insanity smiles phenomena a mate of mine was afflicted with it!

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